Sydney White and the seven dorks

I just got back from seeing that Amanda Bynes movie, “Sydney White.” I know anyone reading this is probably wondering why on earth I would spend money to see that movie, but I had a momentary lapse in judgment. There really aren’t any good movies out right now and I didn’t want to see anything violent or dirty (my mom was coming), I just wanted a light-hearted easy to understand movie. So after looking online for a while my mom and I headed off to see “Sydney White.” Upon arriving at the theater we probably should have realized the error in our decision because they were only a handful of people in the theater, a couple old ladies and a group of middle school girls. Needless to say, we were blissfully unaware as we chatted about shoes and makeup and where to buy the best toenail polish (I know this sounds really shallow but its not as shallow as what is to come).

I’d like to say that we realized how incredibly cheesy and stupid the movie was going to be from the very beginning, but unfortunately even after sitting through previews for movies that were unimaginative and just plain dumb, we still had hope. Finally ten minutes into the movie it hit us that the extent of the poor acting, cheesiness, and stereotypical characters was more than we could have imagined. Sydney White, Bynes’ character, wants to join her deceased mother’s sorority but unfortunately it has turned into a bunch of blond bimbos who need attitude adjustments. These prissy Phi Kappa somethings don’t like brunette working class Sydney and reject her. Shocker! Sydney has no where to stay because she vacated her dorm to stay in the sorority mansion while pledging so she goes to the Vortex house. Vortex is described as a haven for social outcasts, seven dorky guys live there and welcome Sydney into their bizarre little family. Sydney decides to run for student council president so she and her seven dorks can take the power away from Greek Row and make the university an enjoyable place for everybody. While campaigning for student council she and Rachel Witchburn, President of the sorority, exchange harsh words and Rachel tries unsuccessfully to sabotage Sydney. Rachel hates Sydney because Sydney’s new boyfriend, Something Prince, is Rachel’s ex. Sydney wins the election and everybody, even greeks, admit that they are all dorks and social outcasts.

The whole message of this movie is that being popular does not matter and that looks don’t matter because everybody is a dork on the inside. This whole idea was kind of undermined because Sydney’s new boyfriend was supposedly the hottest most popular guy in school. I personally didn’t think that Something Prince was very attractive but then again I don’t really like pretty boys. The message kind of morphed into girls who are popular and attractive are absolute witches (like Witchburn) and boys who are popular and attractive are nice and accepting. I’m not going to say that I don’t agree with this idea, because that’s exactly how things are at ECS, but I think that the movie went completely overboard in driving that point home.

For Sydney and Prince guy’s first date he took her to a church where he served food to homeless people. Oh please, like any guy would take a girl to do community service with him unless he was trying to get a little something which Prince guy, by the way, did not. In order to ask Sydney out, Prince guy had some freshmen pledges lay a single red rose at her desk one by one and then serenade her. Gag! Finally, in true fairy-tale fashion Sydney had fallen asleep in the library after studying all night before her final presidential debate, she was running late so Prince guy tried to wake her up unsuccessfully and then kissed her until she woke up. At this point in the movie my mom and I knew what to expect so I wouldn’t say we were surprised but we did shout things at the screen which seemed to anger the other people in the theater.

This movie brings up questions that have been bothering me for quite some time. First of all, who makes these horrible movies and what where they thinking? Second, How did these movies get funding and actors to play these roles? And finally, Who goes to see these movies? I’m beginning to think that because of all the dumb weak movies that have come out recently that filmmakers are seriously underestimating the intelligence of movie goers. A more scary thought is that the majority of people really are this unintelligent. Anyway, does anybody have any thoughts on why movies are so bad right now?